In the early 1990’s, middle-aged John De Hart was convinced that he possessed all the qualities needed to become a Hollywood leading man. According to him, not only did he have the physique of an Adonis, but could recite Shakespeare as well as sing and dance on par with any West End or Broadway performer. To round out the entire package, De Hart believed he was a comedian of the highest calibre, trend-setting fashion icon and a sex symbol second to none.

The only way John De Hart could harness all his powers and announce himself to the world was to produce, direct and star in his own movie. If this wasn’t enough, he sang all the musical numbers throughout the film and I believe wrote every song.

When none of the major distributors picked up ‘Champagne and Bullets’, De Hart went back to the drawing board and made a few changes. As far as I can tell, some of the sound editing was improved and the gratuitous sex scenes shortened (a little). In a major shift, the opening credits were swapped around with different music and footage. De Hart’s songs, including the entire ‘Shimmy Slide’ performance survived the cut as did his jokes.

This resulted in the film’s re-release under the title ‘Road to Revenge’.

De Hart was passed over again, but came back stronger with a new-look version of his masterpiece. I’m not sure what changes were made third time around, only that the film was now called ‘GetEven’ – one word.

Sadly, ‘Champagne and Bullets’/’Road to Revenge’/’GetEven’ was the only film John De Hart ever made.

You only need to digest a handful of scenes from this movie to understand the dangers of pursuing a vanity project of this size. John De Hart could not act, nor could he sing and dance. He was a fifty year old man with zero sex appeal and a wooden personality. Yet because De Hart was writing the cheques and calling the shots, chances are no one informed the boss of his shortcomings during the film’s production.

Almost thirty years on, ‘Champagne and Bullets’ (or whatever you wish to call it) is still regarded as one of the worst movies ever made. To comprehend just how bad it is, there was a recent review by Jason Brant on his awesome YouTube channel which is worth checking out. Hit the link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvQo_AeW3gk

All cover images courtesy of Monarch Productions.