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‘Diamonds Are Forever’ shines brighter than I remembered.

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‘Diamonds Are Forever’ is often the first name that comes up when discussing the weakest entries into the James Bond series. There are other dubious titles as well, such as ‘Moonraker’ and ‘Die Another Day’, but Sean Connery’s comeback film from 1971 somehow remains in a category of its own.

Are these reviews fair? Does this movie deserve such a reputation? Well, this older version of myself decided to re-watch ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ for the first time in thirty years to find out.

My recollection of ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ over time echoed on a couple of points; the first being that Sean Connery had aged a lot since his last Bond movie (only four years earlier) and my second observation was that some crazy stuff went down in this film. Now having watched it again, I think Connery looks good and the movie is far more insane than I remembered – which is a great thing!

I’m not sure what the production team were smoking at the time, as some of the places and situations James Bond finds himself in are outrageous – especially when compared to the other films in the series. The previous entry – ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’ – is the polar opposite to this show, and it’s difficult to compare the movies in any way. For starters, ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ features a campy version of Blofeld as the main villain, two ‘flamboyant’ assassins leaving a trail of dead bodies, countless one-liners that feel better suited to a Burt Reynolds film, and to top it all off most of these capers take place in ‘Sin City’ itself – Las Vegas!

‘Diamonds Are Forever’ was Sean Connery’s sixth outing as James Bond, and he was paid a reported $1.25 million dollars for his efforts. Such a high figure for the time reflected the chaos caused by George Lazenby’s sudden departure – but that is another story. Behind the scenes, the screenplay was written by Richard Maibaum and Tom Mankiewicz – with the film being directed by Guy Hamilton and produced by Albert R Broccoli and Harry Saltzman.

John Barry provided the soundtrack, and I thought his modern score worked well with this movie. Shirley Bassey performed the title song, which is a rather catchy tune that follows the older style of opening themes but adds some newer nineteen-seventies sounds.

The film’s pre-credits sequence features Bond on the hunt for Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Having violently dealt with a couple of his minions, 007 eventually squares off with his old nemesis as he is about to undergo face-altering plastic surgery.

Once Blofeld is (seemingly) put away permanently, James Bond returns to active duty and is given an assignment to track illegal diamond shipments out of South Africa, and to discover who might be stockpiling them and why. Bond is sent to Amsterdam and goes undercover posing as the dangerous smuggler Peter Franks, before following the trail to the United States – Las Vegas and California specifically.

Of course it could never be as simple as thieves stealing precious gems, and the plot evolves into a SPECTRE operation where a satellite uses diamond-charged lasers to destroy targets on Earth.

As this film took such a sharp turn away from the usual James Bond formula, I won’t offer too many comments about the storyline or the style of the direction and editing. I think the more interesting aspects of ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ are the quirky characters and bizarre scenes that took place within this movie, so I will focus on some of these instead.

Let’s start with the casting of Charles Gray as Ernst Stavro Blofeld, whose campy portrayal of the super-villain is very different to what we saw from Telly Savalas and Donald Pleasence. This same actor had appeared in ‘You Only Live Twice’ as Bond’s contact in Tokyo, which makes him an odd choice to play the main bad guy here.

Gray is perhaps best known for ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ – particularly the ‘The Time Warp’ song – where he delivers the famous line “It’s just a jump to the left.”

Gray turns out to be pretty good as Blofeld, as he projects considerable menace behind the appearance of a well-spoken British aristocrat. He delivers some cracking lines and in one scene is dressed up in drag (see photo above), making him the most ‘likeable’ incarnation of the SPECTRE boss we have seen.

Moving on, it is now time to discuss Mr Wint and Mr Kidd – two of the most memorable henchmen ever seen in a Bond movie.

From walking hand-in-hand, to finishing each other’s sentences; what was going on between these two was evident after their opening scene in the film. This never-seen-before dynamic for a Bond movie added more layers to the bizarre treat that is ‘Diamonds Are Forever’.

But make no mistake, this pair were ruthless killers and built up quite a body count throughout the movie. As far as the plot was concerned, Wint and Kidd were tasked with eliminating anyone who came in contact with the diamonds, and they did so via a number of effective measures – from scorpions to explosions.

Mr Wint, seen in the photo above, was played by Bruce Glover who sadly passed away only a few weeks ago in March this year. He is the father of actor Crispin Glover.

Mr Kidd was played by jazz musician Putter Smith, and was cast in the role after director Guy Hamilton saw him performing on stage.

The list of memorable characters in this movie does not end there, for who could forget the weird fight scene between Bond and the fearsome duo of Bambi and Thumper?

Just when you thought this film could not go any further off the rails, they come up with something like this. While this scene was completely bonkers, it added a ton more fun to what was already an enjoyable spectacle.

By this point, any idea that this was a run-of-the-mill 007 flick had long gone out the window.

Then there is the moon buggy chase scene. Yes, you read that correctly.

What happens here is Bond interupts a lunar landing simulation and steals the astronauts’ buggy, after which he is pursued through the Nevada desert by goons in cars and three-wheeler bikes.

We also have the mobsters working for Morton Slumber, the Las Vegas funeral director and part of the diamond smuggling operation. These are really cool characters, and I should point out that the thug in the back seat (see photo below) is played by horror movie legend Sid Haig.

The main gangster, played by Marc Lawrence, is credited as ‘Slumber Inc Attendant’ in this film. However, he would appear three years later dressed in similar attire in the opening scene of ‘The Man With The Golden Gun’ – but this time the character was named as ‘Rodney’.

Is it the same antagonist in the Bond universe, or is this a case of casting the same actor to play the same type of role in two separate movies?

Then there is the infamous gorilla scene.

This is a great trick, provided it is taken with a grain of salt as the lightweight carnival act that it is supposed to be. However, in this day and age the idea of a black woman transforming into a primate – regardless of the context – would scare the wits out of any major movie studio.

And last but not least, I have to mention the Bond girls, especially Jill St John who starred as Tiffany Case. This character is quite a departure from 007’s previous love interests, and delivers some outrageous lines in this film, perhaps none more so than “Blow up your pants!” – which was directed toward a pesky kid at the Circus Circus casino.

Interestingly, both actresses who starred in ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ – Jill St John and Lana Wood (who played Plenty O’Toole) – share an off-screen connection to the actor Robert Wagner. Lana Wood is the younger sister of Natalie Wood, who was famously married to Wagner until her drowning death in 1981. St John tied the knot with Robert Wagner in 1990 and they are still together today.

Moving on, I also have to mention some of the oversized and futuristic sets featured in this film. I felt a bit of a Stanley Kubrick vibe whilst appreciating these aesthetics, and I now have to wonder if the simulated moon landing scene in this movie was perhaps a nod to the master director.

‘Diamonds Are Forever’ is somewhat of an anomaly in the James Bond series, as the original playbook was well and truly discarded, forever changing the way these films would be made. Part of this would have been the producers wanting to quickly move on from George Lazenby, doing so by re-hiring Connery and throwing caution to the wind when it came to the writing and casting of this movie.

It was a huge risk at the time, but one could argue that this dramatic change in direction worked as James Bond films went from strength-to-strength throughout the seventies and eighties, and are just as popular at the box office today.

‘Diamonds Are Forever’ was not the movie I remembered from my previous viewing back in the early nineteen-nineties. I have to say that all these years later it was far more enjoyable and entertaining than I expected it to be, possibly as a result of experiencing it with an older and more appreciative mindset.

However, I still found a few issues, with some of the characters becoming a bit of a blur, due to so many things happening at once. For instance, the motivations of the part-time comedian Shady Tree and the delightful Plenty O’Toole were not entirely clear to me, and I got a little muddled with the fast pacing of this film. However, these are tiny gripes and I probably missed a few key plot points as I was laughing too hard.

Perhaps the most obvious flaws in this film come via some fairly ordinary dubbing, and this is most evident in the pre-credits sequence. Connery’s voice sounds too loud and out of place, and in one scene has been possibly sped up. Then there is the Japanese guy who manages to tell Bond that he needs to go to Cairo, despite being choked and having his mouth wide open at the time.

Some of the special effects are a bit slack as well; mainly the explosions that were added in post production. I don’t recall these types of shots being as noticeable in previous Bond films, but it didn’t detract from my overall enjoyment of the movie.

‘Diamonds Are Forever’ was one of the most entertaining flicks I have seen in a while. To be fair, I went into this with very low expectations – which might have swayed my opinion slightly – but nevertheless I found this to be an excellent entry into the Bond series.

This film is very self-aware; from the odd characters and loose dialogue, through to the strange locations and crazy action sequences. Avoiding the usual 007 settings such as the Bahamas, or a classic European city – not counting Amsterdam – also works an absolute treat.

When Bond does visit the gaming floor of a casino, instead of playing Baccarat he tries his luck on the Craps table. In fact, there is very little class and style in this movie that you would normally associate with James Bond, with everything from the fight scenes to the car chases being bigger and louder than what we are used to seeing.

The historical significance of ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ should not be understated either, for this entry moved so far away from a winning formula – at great risk I might add – and ended up serving as a ‘reboot’ that paved the way for Roger Moore and a more lighthearted and action-comedic take on the dashing secret agent.

The best advice I could give anyone wanting to revisit this film is to take it on face value, and enjoy it for the outrageous caper that it is. If you try and compare it to any of the previous films in the series and hope for something similar, you will be disappointed – as I was back in my younger years.

I’m going to rate ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ purely on how much I enjoyed the film, and not take into consideration the essential ingredients needed for a James Bond feature, as everything is turned on its head here.

With that being said, I give this movie a score of 8 out of 10 – with an extra half a point added for the hovercraft!

All posters and screenshots courtesy of Eon Productions and United Artists.

Robert Wagner and Jill St John photograph is courtesy of Getty Images (2014)

Image from ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ is courtesy of 20th Century Fox.

‘Creed’ – The Rocky spin-off turns ten this year.

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Directed by Ryan Coogler and starring Michael B Jordan and Sylvester Stallone, ‘Creed’ easily makes my list of the top five movies released over the past decade.

The film revolves around Adonis Johnson – the illegitimate son of Apollo Creed – who decides to follow his dream to become a professional boxer. His journey takes him from Los Angeles to Philadelphia, where he seeks out his father’s best friend Rocky Balboa to guide him.

I won’t go into great detail about the story, because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who has not yet seen this film. However, what I can reveal is that this movie is a masterpiece and Coogler is a director at the top of his game. How ‘Creed’ was not nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars is beyond me, and how Sylvester Stallone did not win the Academy Award for his performance as an elderly Rocky Balboa is even more baffling.

Supporting Stallone and Jordan is a solid cast, with Tessa Thompson as Adonis’ love interest Bianca, Phylicia Rashad as Mary-Anne Creed, and Graham McTavish as Tommy Holiday – trainer/manager of the film’s antagonist Ricky Conlan.

There are a couple of real-life boxers appearing in the film, most notably British fighter Tony Bellew who does a great job playing the nasty and arrogant world title holder ‘Pretty’ Ricky Conlan. Former super-middleweight world champion Andre Ward also appears in a smaller role as Danny ‘Stuntman’ Wheeler.

The fight scenes in this movie are incredible, especially the Creed v Sporino bout that takes place in the middle of the film. What is amazing about this sequence is that it is filmed in one continuous shot – or at least appears to be – and the way the audio switches about depending on where the boxers are standing is pure genius.

It wouldn’t be a Rocky movie without a training montage, and this one is pretty good: – gritty, emotional, and powerful. Bill Conti’s famous ‘Gonna Fly Now’ theme is infused into the musical crescendo as the action transforms into an awe-inspiring slow motion sequence that tugs at the heartstrings. Truly incredible and must be seen to be believed.

Here’s some trivia about ‘Creed’ that you may not know: – Sylvester Stallone made a surprise appearance on the big screen at Goodison Park during the halftime break of an Everton game and asked the crowd to chant and cheer while a film crew recorded them. These sounds were later incorporated into the final act of the movie; during the intense ring walks and also throughout the Conlan v Creed title fight.

One does not have to be a boxing fan – nor someone who enjoyed the Rocky series back in the day – to really appreciate this movie. It is brilliantly written, masterfully directed, and the performances from the entire cast are powerful and convincing.

Almost a decade on, this movie has lost none of its original punch and has actually aged quite well. ‘Creed’ has since spawned two sequels that are quite appealing in themselves, but neither live up to the raw power and emotion of the first film.

It’s a perfect five out of five from me!

If you are still not convinced, below is a link to the training montage I mentioned earlier, courtesy of the Crucifixus YouTube channel. Although it works better when watching the film in its entirety, it remains quite powerful as a standalone scene.

Screenshots courtesy of MGM and New Line Cinema.

I completed the new Tomb Raider II.

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I first played ‘Tomb Raider II’ when it came out on PlayStation back in 1997, and in those days my reflexes were in their prime. A couple of months ago, I decided to tackle the remastered version that was released last year. Using the Easter break to my advantage, I put the hours in and finally made it through this challenging adventure.

As I have mentioned before when reviewing ‘Tomb Raider Remastered’, the improvements and enhancements to the graphics are outstanding. Now that I have finished the first two games, I can honestly say that they both played like their original versions, yet at times took on the appearance of a brand new release.

I will go through each location of ‘Tomb Raider II’ in order and share some thoughts, before getting into the comparisons between the original game and the remastered edition.

The adventure starts at the Great Wall of China, where Lara Croft has to find her way beneath a guard tower and into a cave system below.

This was a short level for me, as I forgot to drop down into the canyon where – if memory serves – a T-Rex or two are lurking in the darkness. There are a few other enemies around as well, such as aggressive tigers, swooping eagles and hard-to-see spiders. A number of deadly booby traps are scattered about too, so it’s not exactly a walk in the park.

The chapter concludes when you discover a mysterious door, where an easily-overwhelmed henchman reveals that a certain Marco Bartoli in Venice has the answers to what lies beyond.

As I have already written a more detailed article about the Venice levels in this game, I will keep things brief here. There are three inter-connected chapters set in this city, relating to Lara finding her way to the elusive Marco Bartoli. Of course, this is a very powerful person, and at his disposal are dozens of thugs and assassins who are there to ensure that Lara does not achieve her goal – and it all plays out around the scenic canals and courtyards of this iconic location.

Lara does eventually catch up with Bartoli, and manages to sneak on board his seaplane en route to an offshore rig. But before she can confront her target, our heroine is captured and imprisoned, and this is where the next part of the story commences.

This chapter does not start ideally, as not only are you locked up but your weapons have been confiscated. Unfortunately, none of the bad guys have such problems and you are forced to run around for a short time hitting switches and opening doors while goons merrily open fire upon you. It is quite a stressful opening to the level – and I hated it to be honest – but the tables will quickly turn once you reacquire your guns.

I didn’t like these levels much, although I appreciated some of the sound effects used such as the occasional loud banging of metal and other vibrating noises. There are tons of bad guys roaming around here, with some hiding underwater in scuba gear firing their spear guns at you. The objectives and aesthetics of the three different stages are pretty much the same, and after a while you can’t wait to get off this stupid rig.

However, there was one brief respite when climbing a ladder all the way to the roof to catch a spectacular sunset – where it’s tempting to throw in a Daniel Andrews joke. Anyway, I could have stayed up here in relative safety all day, but there was the small matter of an adventure to complete.

Speaking of which, we eventually say goodbye to the dreary platform and head to the bottom of the ocean by hitching a ride on a mini submarine.

If you were hoping things would get a little easier, then think again. These underwater chapters were brutal, even though the locations were quite unique – if not a little eerie.

From struggling through the engine rooms, to exploring your way around the upside-down interior of the vessel, the perils continue at every turn. There must have been a garrison of Bartoli’s goons wandering around this wreck – called the Maria Doria – sitting at the bottom of the sea, which begs the following questions: How did they all get down there and is there enough air for everyone to breathe?

Every pocket of water you are forced to swim through is infested with sharks and barracudas, with even the odd giant eel popping up for a jump scare at one point. Eventually you make your way to the deck, which has somehow ended up in a giant cavern, where even more thugs and dangerous sea creatures await you.

The number of henchmen Bartoli has stationed at the bottom of the ocean is ridiculous, but casting science and logic aside, it does make for an exciting adventure! After many gun battles, Lara locates the artifact she was looking for – the Seraph – and then heads to Tibet to discover its true purpose.

A little outdoor scenery proved to be a pleasant break from the claustrophobic offshore rig and Maria Doria levels. The Tibetan foothills was no easy ride though, with snow leopards and more of the Venetian bullies here to cause Lara some serious grief.

Riding a snowmobile was a lot of fun, even if the controls were a little clunky. It was also handy to learn that you can kill enemies simply by running them over – with that rule applying to both men and beasts!

Lara then makes her way to the Barkhang Monastery – a memorable Tomb Raider level – where not only are the idols and statues recreated magnificently, but a never-before-seen type of gameplay is introduced into the series.

What I refer to is the dynamic between the Barkhang Monks and Bartoli’s goons who attack the holy place in great numbers. Quite simply, if Lara does not injure any of the monks – even though they glare at her menacingly – they will not go after her. Better still, these monks will take care of the Italian trespassers more often than not, despite the disadvantage of bringing sticks to a gun fight.

As I mentioned before, the effort that has gone into bringing this remote monastery to life is commendable – check out the screenshots below.

Sadly, the Barkhang Monastery would be the highlight of the Tibetan adventures, with the next two chapters taking us deep underground where more dangerous enemies are waiting for you in the shadows.

I really struggled through these levels, especially the Catacombs of the Tallion. It wasn’t just the constant onslaught of Bartoli’s henchmen and snow leopards this time around, but now we have abominable snowmen thrown into the mix – dozens of them!

But what was truly insane here was the lighting – or lack thereof – with your surroundings becoming literally pitch-black at times. These darkest areas also happened to be infested with growling yetis – making matters worse – and I ended up igniting my entire supply of flares just to see where I was going. I only mention this because my excessive use of this limited resource came back to bite me at a later stage.

These annoying levels came to an end after battling a giant bird-like creature with an impressive six-pack. This dude might have been in great shape, but he was hardly a challenge as I picked him off with a machine gun from the safety of a high ledge. Too much weights, not enough speed work, perhaps?

Following this, we return to the door underneath the Great Wall of China, which is a nice roundabout way to continue the adventure.

The Temple of Xian is what awaits Lara beyond the mysterious door, and it is quite a challenging level to navigate through. Interestingly, all the enemies here are animals; tigers, fish, birds and spiders – both small and large – but they are not the most difficult part. This level was designed as one giant booby-trapped maze, and you can meet your demise in any number of ways.

It is also quite dark at times, and I regretted wasting all my flares back in Tibet. I ended up using the light from the muzzle flash of the pistols to find switches and doors that were hidden in the darkness – which was not an ideal way to play the game.

Having conquered the temple, the story then delves into a mystical realm known as the Floating Islands and it is quite a spectacle – and extremely dangerous too.

The design here is excellent, and the remastered version takes things to another level completely. As far as villains go, we meet some of the deadliest foes in the game – the jade statue guardians who come to life and attack Lara with lethal force. It is a good idea to save your grenade launcher for these guys because they don’t fight fairly; often coming at you two or three at a time.

We then move on to what is the final level, where Lara comes face-to-face with some extremely difficult opponents. There are a dozen or more of the jade statues to contend with, who are now being a nuisance by standing in front of important switches. Also, some newer Bartoli henchmen are around – cult members I believe – who are a lot tougher to kill and can inflict a ton of damage if not dealt with quickly.

Then there is the final battle with Marco Bartoli, who has used the Dagger of Xian to transform himself into a fire-breathing dragon. If one uses the water passages correctly to swim under the beast and attack it from multiple angles, then this can be quite an easy fight. Well, it was for me anyway – and I’m not the best player going around!

There is a brief epilogue after killing the dragon, where the remainder of Bartoli’s goons come to Lara’s house to exact revenge for their fallen boss. There isn’t much to this – as you only need to grab the shotgun and more than enough ammo to take care of the intruders and their attack dogs.

Before I get into my final thoughts on the game, I have selected some comparison shots between the new remastered version of ‘Tomb Raider II’ and the 1997 original. I have chosen photos that best show the differences between the two releases, with the 2024 edition featured on the top half of the screenshot, while the older version is shown below.

Overall, I really enjoyed playing this game – and a big part of giving this a positive review is the strong way in which the story concluded. Unlike the previous entry, whose last few levels became a bore and went off the boil, this game went the opposite way and finished off with a string of visually-enthralling chapters.

However, the last two Tibetan Levels – Catacombs of the Tallion and Ice Palace really annoyed the life out of me, with the lighting being the main issue. In fact, I stopped playing the game for a couple of weeks as a result. The offshore rig was alright, but was a little uninspiring, and the undersea levels were well-designed and planned but became too much of the same thing after a while.

Shooting my way around Venice was a novelty for me though, and I also give a lot of praise to the Barkhang Monastery stage, which was well mapped-out. As I mentioned before, the final chapters that were set underneath the Great Wall of China were top notch and ensured that the game finished on a high note.

Was it better than the original? No, but that is a hard act to follow. The difference here is that the best chapters in the first Tomb Raider game – St Francis’ Folly, Temple of Khamoon et al – reached stratospheric heights, whereas the top levels in the sequel – Barkhang Monastery and Floating Islands – are excellent at best.

Full marks to the team who upgraded the graphics, and for delivering an entertaining game that is set in some interesting locations across multiple continents. There were some levels here that I absolutely hated, but nevertheless I rate ‘Tomb Raider II Remastered’ a solid seven and a half out of ten.

‘Tomb Raider I-III Remastered’ has been out for over a year now and is available to buy as a physical copy, or online at the PlayStation Store. I should also mention that a few months ago, the next three remastered episodes of the Tomb Raider series were released as a trilogy. Both are retailing for around $45 Australian dollars.

Screenshots courtesy of PlayStation, Crystal Dynamics and Aspyr.

‘For Your Eyes Only’ – An ageing Bond set to a disco beat!

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My latest James Bond review takes me back to 1981, and to revisit a film that I had not seen in years – around thirty years in fact. I will be honest, ‘For Your Eyes Only’ was a movie that I could never get into when I was younger, so it will be interesting to see if I still think it’s crap, or if it manages to rise dramatically up the ranks.

‘For Your Eyes Only’ followed on from 1979’s far-fetched ‘Moonraker’, and promised a return to a more classic, grounded Bond adventure. Instead of space shuttles and laser guns, we now have a plot involving lost military equipment, with Greek smugglers and the good old KGB thrown into the mix.

I think what initially put me off this film was the age of Roger Moore, who was really starting to wrinkle up. He was becoming less-believable as the suave secret agent – and what was more ridiculous were all the women half his age falling all over him. Moore was getting by purely on charisma and charm at this stage – as well as huge box office takings – and would actually go on to make two more Bond films after this.

If you compare the screenshots above – taken four years apart – one could argue that Moore was already showing his age in 1977’s ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’. He was around fifty then, which meant that he was aged fifty-three during the filming of ‘For Your Eyes Only’.

My other criticism of this movie would be the musical score, which was arranged by the legendary Bill Conti. The disco beats are so out of place at times, and they even ‘funk up’ the Bond theme itself, which I think dates the film instantly. Conti’s score is very similar to some of his work in ‘Rocky III’ – particularly the training scenes – and it doesn’t work in a Bond movie.

However, the theme song by Sheena Easton is a different story altogether. This would have to be one of the best Bond tunes of all time, and so popular was Easton during the early 1980’s that she actually appears in the opening sequence – the only singer ever to do so.

‘For Your Eyes Only’ was directed by John Glen – in his feature film debut – and would be the first of five consecutive Bond movies where he was at the helm. The screenplay was written by Bond stalwarts Richard Maibaum and Michael G Wilson, with Albert R Broccoli producing.

The film starts with an opening sequence featuring some impressive helicopter stunt-work and the implied return of an old Bond villain, although his name is never mentioned. As great as this scene is, I still can’t get my head around the ‘delicatessen in stainless steel’ line. I can only assume it was intended to be a joke, for I have no idea what it means.

The locations in this film are superb, and the story moves between Spain, Cortina in Italy, and then onto the Greek Isles before the exciting finale at a mountain top monastery. Each setting features some incredible action sequences, with car chases, ski pursuits, underwater fights and insane rock-climbing all brilliantly brought to the big screen.

The cast supporting Roger Moore is solid. Carole Bouquet plays Melina Havelock, the love-interest who knows how to handle a crossbow. Topol and Julian Glover star as rival Greek smugglers Columbo and Kristatos respectively.

What gives this film added depth are the handful of secondary villains – or henchmen – who are quite ruthless and nasty, so a lot of credit must go to these actors, one of whom was Charles Dance in one of his earliest roles. In fact, the performances of Dance, John Wyman and Michael Gothard are simply superb, even though their characters have little to no dialogue.

This film would also serve as a changing-of-the-guard for the character of ‘M’, with Bernard Lee – who had been in the role since ‘Dr No’ – passing away in 1981. For this movie, the boss of MI6 was Chief-of-Staff Bill Tanner (James Villiers), and ‘M’ would be reintroduced in the following movie ‘Octopussy’, where he was played by Robert Brown.

Moving onto the structure of the movie itself, the pacing and plot of this feature are brilliantly executed, and the direction of Glen – as well as the editing – brings everything together neatly. It must be said that there is a ton of action in this film – with chases and fights coming at almost every turn. The stunts on show here are second-to-none, with no CGI back in those days, so what you are seeing is real – except for the green-screen action close-ups of Roger Moore.

Of particular note are the underwater scenes, for they were outstanding and pretty much had everything – from submarines, to shipwrecks, to submerged temples and man-eating sharks. There was some incredible cinematography here, even by today’s standards.

It wouldn’t be a Bond movie without a few laughs thrown in, or at least attempted-laughs as is the case here. I felt that the gags were a little off in this film – or perhaps they are just dated – from odd lines such as the delicatessen remark to overacted and goofy near-misses.

The one moment that I found genuinely funny is when Bibi – a teenage ice-skater with a crush on James Bond – sneaks into his hotel room and throws herself at him. Of course, nothing happens but Bond’s throwaway line about ‘buying her an ice cream’ is priceless!

At the other end of the scale, the Margaret Thatcher spoof is ridiculous, although it probably got a few laughs back in the day. Let’s just say this scene hasn’t aged well.

But despite the hit-and-miss humour, ‘For Your Eyes Only’ gets top marks for its explosive sequences, stunning locations, exceptional villains and brilliant direction and cinematography. However, the bizarre-at-times disco/funk score, combined with a lead actor that was too old for the role, does take a little shine off what is otherwise an excellent movie.

Don’t get me wrong, I really like Roger Moore as Bond. However, there is no denying that he was showing his age in this movie.

So, after watching ‘For Your Eyes Only’ again for the first time in more than thirty years, my opinion of this film has risen considerably. It is nowhere near my favourite Bond outing, but it no longer resides in the same sphere as ‘Die Another Day’ or ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ – or dare I say it – ‘No Time To Die’.

This movie had thrills and high-octane stunts aplenty, and was able to seamlessly move from one location to the next without skipping a beat. Roger Moore is a top leading man, although I stand by my comments about his age, and the supporting cast deliver great performances in this film. The underwater scenes are amazing, the bad guys will get under your skin, and if you love disco music then you will enjoy the soundtrack as well.

I don’t like disco so much, but ‘For Your Eyes Only’ gets a solid 7.5 out of 10 from me.

Screenshots courtesy of Eon Productions.

The new season of Black Mirror – a spoiler-free review.

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The seventh season of the highly-acclaimed science fiction/horror anthology dropped on Netflix last week, but is it better than the last release or does the show continue its slide into fluffier, more lightweight material?

As the season came out only a few days ago, I will make sure that there are no spoilers here. However, I can say that the creators have hedged their bets a little, and by giving us six episodes instead of four or five has ensured that there is something for everyone – not to mention tick the necessary boxes for a Netflix production.

I will explain this in a little more detail during my episode-by-episode breakdown.

The season kicks off with ‘Common People’ which is reminiscent of some of the earlier Black Mirror episodes – which is a good thing. The characters are well-written and the acting is on point, with solid performances from Rashida Jones, Tracee Ellis Ross and Chris O’Dowd.

Without giving anything away, the story revolves around a couple who are forced into a contract with a ‘pharmaceutical tech’ company called Rivermind. This episode packs an emotional punch and I would rate it 9/10.

The second installment in the series is titled ‘Bete Noire’ and almost immediately one can feel the pressure and intensity drop after the season’s strong opening.

This drama takes place in the R&D department of a confectionery company, where Maria – a respected team leader – becomes unnerved after the appointment of Verity; a former schoolmate with a questionable past.

It’s a psychological piece with the added Black Mirror trademark of technological terror, and in truth it’s not a bad effort – but falls short with the characters and their motives in my view. It is definitely weaker than the preceding episode on almost every level, but is quite watchable – and therefore I would rate it 5/10.

The third episode called ‘Hotel Reverie’ is an interesting one, with some cool concepts that question the modern issues of AI and deep-faking. However, I sense that this is the token ‘woke story’ that Netflix would have pushed for, and in my view was the least-enjoyable of the season. I don’t think I am being unreasonable in saying this was the weakest link in the series.

This episode is about a tech company called ReDream who are re-shooting an old British movie using their specialised AI programs. Again, I don’t want to spoil anything, but the issues of Hollywood gender-switching and race-swapping leading roles for remade films is obvious here. If this was supposed to be satirical, then I guess I may have missed the point by giving this a low score – but I didn’t feel that vibe. I also couldn’t help but sense this story was trying to emulate ‘San Junipero’ from season three – which was a great entry, unlike this one – so I give it a lower pass with 4/10.

After a two-episode sag, Black Mirror bounces back strongly with the fourth story – the disturbing digital nightmare that is ‘Plaything’.

Starring former Doctor Who Peter Capaldi as computer geek Cameron Walker, this story is focused on an early 1990’s video game featuring sentient digital lifeforms called Thronglets. I believe this episode is connected to ‘Bandersnatch’ – with the character of Colin Ritman, played by Will Poulter returning to the Black Mirror-verse. I promised no spoilers, so I won’t say any more.

This is a straightforward – albeit troubling – tale by Black Mirror standards, but is nonetheless a solid entry into the series. With great performances by Capaldi and Poulter, as well as from Lewis Gribben who plays the younger version of Walker, I would rate this story easily above the previous two episodes but not quite as high as the first one – 8/10.

‘Eulogy’ is the fifth episode of the season, and explores – through intrusive technology – the ideas of long-lost love and emotional redemption, something that this franchise has always done rather well.

We have another well-established actor here in the lead role, with Paul Giamatti playing Phillip – an elderly loner who suddenly comes face-to-face with painful memories of losing the love of his life decades earlier. I would argue that Giamatti’s performance is a master-class; up there with the best of his career and certainly award-worthy.

In brief – and without going into too much detail – this tale is about an old man who is encouraged to use a new technology that immerses him within his old photographs, naturally stimulating memories long thought lost. Through these revelations, the story unfolds before our eyes, and does so with plenty of emotion and gravitas – 9/10!

And for the sixth and final episode, the show-runners have provided a real treat: – a movie-length sequel to the season four classic ‘USS Callister’.

I won’t say much about this story, other than how much fun it was – and to insist that watching the original ‘USS Callister’ episode is essential before checking this out.

The cast from eight years ago return to reprise their roles, with Jesse Plemons, Cristin Milioti and Jimmi Simpson playing the main characters. To be honest, I don’t think this continuation of the story is as good as the original chapter, but it was an entertaining way to end this season of Black Mirror – and it gets an 8/10.

Rating the episodes in order of quality – according to me – would have ‘Eulogy’ on top with ‘Common People’ just behind it in second place. The nostalgia factor puts ‘USS Callister – Into Infinity’ as my third-best pick, with the solid ‘Plaything’ settling for fourth spot.

Then we have a little bit of daylight before fifth-placed ‘Bete Noire’ comes into play, followed by ‘Hotel Reverie’ crossing the finish line dead last. Again, the reason these two episodes are adrift of the pack is because I did not find them very engaging and were a bit of a struggle to watch, if I’m being honest.

On the whole, I think this is a better collection of stories than season six – where I rated the five episodes as two being good, one being average and two being sub-par. Here we have six episodes – two of which I considered to be excellent, two were very good and the remaining two received average scores. Therefore, I would give this season of Black Mirror an overall mark of 7.5/10.

I apologise for not giving specific examples when being critical of the plot or production of some episodes, but keeping this article spoiler-free was my main priority. There was simply no way I could explain any of my critiques without revealing important elements of the story and ruining the viewing experience for those yet to watch the show.

All seven seasons of Black Mirror are currently streaming on Netflix.

All screenshots courtesy of Netflix.

Wat Saket – Bangkok’s Golden Mount.

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Wat Saket – or ‘The Golden Mount’ – is a little out-of-the-way from the regular tourist routes in Bangkok. There are no train stations nearby, so to get there it’s either a half-hour walk from the Grand Palace precinct, or a short tuk-tuk ride – whichever you prefer.

I was in Thailand back in January and made the decision to visit this place – doing so on foot via a conveniently-placed McDonald’s on the way – and it was certainly worth the effort.

There was a small entrance charge (for foreigners) of one-hundred Thai Baht, or around five dollars Australian. It’s no big deal as not only is the spectacle worth the price of entry, but the money is contributing to a good cause. I should also point out that most of the major temples around Bangkok sting tourists a similar admission fee.

The only way to the top is via a winding staircase that makes its way past misty waterfalls, and then onto a number of different landings. The first level features a large gong and an arrangement of bells, before the steps continue upward toward the temple itself.

Situated at the end of the steep uphill slog is the entrance and ground floor of the temple, featuring an assortment of statues, artwork and other religious symbols. There is plenty to look at here, but the real attraction is waiting for you beyond the next flight of stairs. Of course, I’m talking about the spectacular rooftop.

Wat Saket was built atop the only hill in Bangkok, and as a result the panoramic view of the city is impressive. There’s usually a bit of smog about, but the river, modern skyline and surrounding temples and palaces can all be seen clearly.

But amidst the constant chanting of the monks, golden statues and breathtaking views, I did observe a few quirky and unusual things about this place – see below for some examples.

These modern wonders stood inside the temple and were only a few feet away from some sacred shrines and ancient displays – quite the juxtaposition. To be honest, I think it’s a great fundraiser for the monks to sell ice-cold drinks, as many tourists would be thirsty after walking up to the summit in the heat and humidity. Open the fridge door, grab your icy beverage, and pay the old man in robes sitting at the counter. It’s a little unusual, but I’m all for it!

Near the base of the hill is a rather morbid depiction of vultures eating dead bodies. The birds are pecking away at victims of the many Cholera outbreaks that Bangkok suffered throughout the nineteenth century. Apparently, thousands of people were cremated at Wat Saket during these times, but it was impossible to keep up with demand, so corpses would begin to pile up everywhere. Of course, this is where the vultures enter the story – as seen in the display.

Next to the gruesome vulture statues is a small white pagoda, and within is something known as ‘Buddha’s footprint’. I had never seen anything like this before, and it was fascinating to learn that it is of great spiritual significance.

I was intrigued by this sign outside the temple, for although the instructions are clear, a lot of people ended up taking off their shoes. Could it be that the colour should have been green instead of red? I think this is what tricked most folks.

Wat Saket is a great place to visit when in Bangkok, especially as a ‘side mission’ away from the hectic crowds around the popular tourist hot spots. I did take some video footage while I was there and uploaded it to YouTube. It didn’t get anywhere near as many views as some of my other Thailand clips, but I’ll put the link below anyway.

Tomb Raider II – Venice remastered.

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True fans of the original Tomb Raider games on PS1 would have already played through the remastered versions that came out last year, so I admit that this report is considerably behind the times.

However, I like to take things slowly when playing and often pause the action to capture screenshots of the new and improved game, and then create a side-by-side comparison with the original title from twenty-five years ago.

All excuses aside, here are my best captures from Venice; arguably the most iconic location featured across the entire Tomb Raider series. I have chosen shots where the differences between the new and old versions are at their most obvious.

Within each screenshot, the 2024 remastered version is featured above, while the original 1997 game is shown below.

Outside the entrance to Bartoli’s Hideout.

Exploring a mansion. (Note the difference in lighting.)

An outside courtyard, complete with lemon trees.

The tricky chandelier puzzle room.

Climbable bookshelf and escape window. See how the lighting issues in the newer version of the game persist?

The domed roof of the opera house.

Interior shot of the opera house. Note the addition of a chandelier in the updated game.

I love the wooden paneling, and the ornamental light is a nice touch.

And finally, the seaplane in which Lara escapes on. The artwork on the side of the aircraft (possibly inspired by Jane Fonda as Barbarella) is improved out-of-sight in the remastered version.

Following on from the comparison shots, below is a collection of single snaps from the Venice chapters of Tomb Raider II; pictures that I feel capture the essence of the game and highlight the excellent work that went into upgrading the graphics.

This is a great shot, and the late afternoon sky looks amazing.

Jumping from chandelier to chandelier in Marco Bartoli’s hideout.

The opera house – with maze-like balconies and villains aplenty.

Taking a speedboat ride through the canals.

And last but not least, a snapshot of some swinging crates. How or why they are able to sway perpetually and with such force is never explained. It may defy science, but it looks good!

Overall, the Venice levels in Tomb Raider II were enjoyable to play, and featured a mixture of breathtaking yet bizarre locations. The bad guys were tough – as were their attack dogs – and for a while there I had to survive on half a health bar and no medipacks. But as the levels progressed there were plenty of pickups available and I managed to pass the test without too many difficulties.

I’m still working my way through the game, but am struggling a bit with the catacombs level in Tibet. I have taken a ton of screenshots though, so I might share my thoughts on the underwater chapters or the initial Tibetan stages at a later date.

Artwork and screenshots courtesy of Core Design and Aspyr.

Coles self-serve checkouts – A coin collector’s dream.

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There are all sorts of coins – both circulated and non-circulated – being spat out of the self-serve cash registers at Coles these days.

I’ve collected quite a number over the past six months, and there has been a sharp increase over the last week or two – which has prompted me to write this report. I keep finding one-dollar coins belonging to collections, forty-year-old coins shining in near-mint condition, and foreign coins being passed off as Australian currency.

Whenever I find a collectible coin from the auto-checkouts, I place it inside a plastic zip bag before sorting it into an album. The above photo shows around four to five months worth.

I photographed some of the more interesting coins that have come into my possession through these self-serve registers, and they are presented below.

These two are from the ‘Aussie Big Things’ collection from 2023 – and feature The Big Banana at Coffs Harbour and The Giant Murray Cod at Swan Hill ($1 coins).

Two AFL coins from 2024 featuring both men’s and women’s competitions; specifically the medals awarded for Player of the Season ($1 coins).

‘A-Z of Australian Things’ collection. These coins are from different series – with the ‘W for Weet-Bix’ from 2019 and ‘O for Opal’ being released in 2022 ($1 coins).

I come across a lot of these dinosaur coins, but I am yet to find the missing one to complete the set. The series of four was released in 2022 ($1 coins).

This one-dollar coin is also part of a set – I think of four – that was released in 2023.

It also pays to check your silver lower-denominations as well, as this is a 2018 uncirculated twenty-cent coin commemorating the ANZAC one-hundred year anniversary.

All of the above coins were not put into circulation, and could only be purchased from either the Royal Australian Mint, the post office or a coin dealer. However, they are legal tender and can be used for shopping; and evidently this is what’s happening.

For those observant enough to see no monetary value on some of these designs, I can inform you that the amount of ‘one dollar’ appears on their reverse sides. Therefore these are coins, and not ’rounds’.

Now onto some more common – but still collectible – items that I have found.

This is a one dollar coin that was released into circulation back in 2019. It was part of a set of three with different mint marks – ‘A’, ‘U’, and ‘S’ – and was created as a competition or challenge to collect each coin and win prizes from the mint.

This is from the 2001 Centenary of Federation collection. I am finding a lot of these in really good condition, and they are worth keeping an eye out for, as there are different coins – nine altogether – for every state and territory.

This is a New Zealand fifty-cent coin, and is the same size as our ten cent piece. I suppose if anyone wants to trick the self-serve machine into thinking this is an Aussie coin, then fair enough – however its true value would be around forty-five cents.

Here is another foreign coin being used as ten Australian cents, with this one originating from the UAE, as you can clearly see from the markings. I suppose it makes sense that people are using overseas coins, as more often than not they would be worth less than the local currency (unless you’re a Kiwi handing over forty-five cents instead of ten).

In summary, if you are a coin enthusiast it does pay to check the change you are given – especially with what these auto-machines have been dispensing lately.

Therefore, I suspect that there are a lot of hidden treasures inside these checkout machines – at both Coles and Woolworths. With only two or three cash checkouts in each supermarket, the odds of finding a collectible coin are reasonable, but you better be quick before they go 100% cashless!

‘Empire of the Dark’ is pure B-Grade genius!

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An out-of-shape middle-aged leading man takes on sword-wielding Satanic priests, demons, gun-toting villains and more in this 1991 horror/action thriller!

Written, directed by and starring Steve Barkett (who sadly passed away in 2023), this feature has all the hallmarks of a vanity project – re Neil Breen or John De Hart – but turns out to be a pretty solid flick. One simply needs to see beyond the flaws of this ambitious low-budget film to be able to enjoy the spectacle that it truly is.

Barkett stars as Richard Flynn, who while working as a cop, enters through a portal into Hell to rescue his ex-girlfriend’s baby son before he is sacrificed by devil worshippers. The film then skips twenty years to when Flynn is now a private eye, and is forced to battle the evil acolytes of Satan once again!

Barkett clearly considers himself to be an action man, and his screenplay and direction suggests as much, as he is constantly killing bad guys and romancing women way out of his league. However, he delivers a lot of tongue-in-cheek comments and one-liners, hinting that he is aware of his physical shortcomings, and decides to run with it anyway. What this does is bring a lot of charm and character to the film, and you end up really liking the guy and cheering him on.

The soundtrack to this movie – from composer John Morgan – is quite good, from the opening theme to the catchy incidental music featured throughout the film. I have watched bigger – and supposedly better – productions whose musical scores were nowhere near as memorable as this effort.

The special effects were decent in places, especially the modelling of the hellish caves and wooden bridges and platforms within the underground labyrinth. However, the stop-start animation that brought the main demon to life was a bit ‘how ya going’, as we say in Australia. Perhaps ‘questionable’ might be a more widely-recognised term, but you can appreciate what the film-makers were trying to do.

As far as action goes, ‘Empire of the Dark’ delivers the goods. There is an endless supply of hooded evil disciples trying to kill our hero, who fights them all off with either a gun or a sword, while less-than-gracefully executing moves that are awkward and sluggish yet somehow appear on screen as poetry in slow-motion. It’s comedy through and through, and Steve Barkett is right on point here; really hamming things up and breaking the fourth wall on at least one occasion.

‘Empire of the Dark’ has a 4.8 rating out of 10 at IMDB, and I think this is just about right. This is not a great movie, especially with the poor acting and ridiculous plot, but nor is it a complete dud. This film is watchable and quite entertaining, and as mentioned earlier it has a certain charm – or affability – that gets it across the line.

It’s a solid 3 out of 5 from me. Yes, it’s a ‘bad’ movie but it’s one you can laugh along with. I also think it’s a shame we didn’t see Steve Barkett in more mainstream movies over the years.

There was an episode of ‘So Bad It’s Good’ on YouTube a few years back, where they reviewed this movie and seemingly enjoyed it as well. It’s worth watching, so I’ve added the link below.

But if you are feeling a little more adventurous, the entire film is also available on YouTube. I’m not sure if the link will work due to age restrictions, but it is provided below – courtesy of Jacohsc Films YouTube Channel.

Screenshots courtesy of the Nautilus Film Company.

The Blind Date Ball

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My latest offering should be available on Kindle Unlimited in June.

This will be my ninth book – tenth if you count ‘Lockdown Driver Wanted’ – and is the first direct sequel that I have written, as it follows on from the events of ‘Nine Mile Beach’.

The story revolves around two young men – who have been friends since childhood – and the vastly different turns their lives take after becoming involved in a match-making social event.

Of course, there is a lot more to it than that, but I can’t give too much away. What I can say is that the title was almost going to be ‘The Blind Date Ball: A Misogynist’s Tale’ – so that might suggest something about one of the main characters in the book. I’m still 50/50 on whether or not I should still use that additional line.

Currently I am in the final stages of editing, having completed the previous draft back in October last year, and in all honesty it’s looking pretty good at this stage.